love myself (1 of 1)

It’s a pleasure to meet you (I said to myself)

Today is Bell’s national ‘let’s talk day’. it’s all about opening up & talking about mental illnesses. I thought this would be an appropriate time to share my story๐Ÿ™‚

I don’t know how long you have known me, but I’ve known myself for quite a long time, well, I’ve known the OLD me for a long time. I’ve just recently met the NEW me, and let me tell you, I really like her! I think I may actually be in love with her (shhhh, don’t tell my husband).

love myself (1 of 1)

but It’s been a long time (if there ever was a time), since I’ve felt this love for myself. & (duh) it feels fabulous! Whether you have known me for a long time, or if you’ve just met me (or even if you thought you knew me), take a moment to read (& share if you like), this story is about a journey….

*Surprisingly or not (just like everyone out there) I’ve dealt with a lot of sh*t in my life. I’m not trying in any way to say I’m more damaged, more special or more deserving of anything above or beyond. I’m just here to share*

I’ve had a lot of ups and a lot of downs (& by downs, I mean really really down….) At one point I thought I was BiPolar. I’ve been battling some serious depression since my teenage years, postpartum since my first son was born in 2003, anxiety because, well, it kind of goes with everything else right, & plenty more… (My family, like most, has had its share of issues too)


I quit smoking cold~turkey 3 years ago after 17 addicted years & replaced it with Running & working out. (wahoo) I’ve over~come some crazy drug addictions & messed up relationship addictions too.

hands up

I’ve gone back to school for Health & Wellness courses (they helped me feel a bit more sane & as though I was contributing to a healthy future for my family).

I’ve had 2 kids within 19 months of each other. I’ve gotten married. I’ve lost my dad & lost my last grandpa (within 13 months), moved 3 times & all of these ‘little’ life changes were within 3 years of each other.

I’ve moved 6 times in the 10 years I’ve been married (7 cities, 3 provinces and 2 different countries), I’ve sold it all and had to buy it all back. I’ve become estranged from family. I’ve lost and gained friends (and weight), I’ve been utterly lost and seen the light, I’ve cried myself to sleep & stayed awake all night staring at my kids.


I’ve been away from my best friend/husband while depressed & taking care of our 2 young boys all alone, for months on end. I’ve fought for getting my way & been close to calling it quits. I’ve gone through this & more, much more …

but so what right?

who hasn’t?

It’s true, everyone goes through sh*t in their lives. no one has a perfect life (no matter what you think). but There are a few important points to my story here…

One (& possibly the most important) is the craziness that we don’t talk about this with each other!! We carry on throughout our days & nights & take no notice of our peers, our family & friends who are hurting. maybe we are even judging them. but in the same instance, we don’t express our own pain. Not only do we not talk about it, but we hide away & are ashamed of it. If we all go thru these sorts of things, wouldn’t it make sense to share? Share our stories & help one another. In helping others we really do help ourselves. there is no need to be ashamed, no reason to feel embarrassed.

start where you are

It is time to stop. To take a stand & make these ‘mental illnesses’ nothing to be ashamed of. It is time to be open & honest & helpful. we are all human. let’s join together on this. come on, it’s pretty major people!

The 2nd point of all of this is that yes I’ve gotten through iT! quite alone at times. And mostly ashamed… (When offered help, especially at the beginning I would not take it. I would cower away & try to be strong. i did this For a long time. does that sound familiar)? but That is the wrong way.

BE lieve in YOU self

I spent years crying. many hours a day being resentful, hurt, ashamed, angry, defeated. it’s a very difficult time to go thru, & it’s also very hard for people to watch you go thru it.

being strong is asking for help. having courage is finding support. going at it alone is letting the cycle continue.

But at last i learned many things. i read books & listened to tapes. I wrote in a journal & cried some more. I took time for myself to slowly & carefully be ok with all the changes. I took my husband’s hand & followed him thru the dark times. i made a conscious effort to do only things that were good for me. no more spotless house. instead i watched funny shows. no more muti~tasking, instead i did one thing at a time with all my attention & intention. i stopped to smell the roses & i stopped to watch my kids smile & be kids.

I’ve made it thru and not only gotten through it, but am here, better than ever and ready to take my life and kick this world right side up again! Now-a-days I wake up happy (imagine that!) and at a decent time! I’m ready to greet the day, sweat and work out. I laugh with my kids and husband a LOT more, and have energy to play with them.


I am conscious of what goes in my body regarding food and supplements and I don’t get sick as often, (and when I do I can read my body telling me when it’s coming and I kick that sicknesses ass)! My moods are more upbeat (with a big help from Confianza), and my body is way more fit and toned. My face has cleared up, my sleep is super restful, and I’m actually accomplishing more and more everyday! My confidence has grown, and damn it, I’VE GROWN! There was a time that I would joke that I felt too immature to have a husband and kids. Now I feel grown up, mature and responsible, but maybe still too young! (haha, young at heart!)

IMG_3967I started this journey alone & scared. let’s face it, I’ve been fearful of nearly everything all my life. but i am here to tell you that this is not the way. it’s easier with help! find a way to make it easier. living with depression, ocd, anxiety, or any other mental illness is tough, don’t go it alone.please.


i started this journey, this transformation, this radical self~love &’ F~U’ Attitude with the grand hope of transforming myself into a person that my kids would be proud of, into someone that my husband and family would be proud of, but especially into someone I would be happy to see in the mirror every morning.

I think I’ve done it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not done done, I’m still working, I’m still eating to live and working out. I’m still trying my damnedest every day to be patient and calm, to smash fear in the face & grow… but boy oh boy am I happy to be here where I am.

love myself (1 of 1)-2
I have met so many other people who are on the same journey. They inspire me to keep going, to not care what the masses say about food or diet, or mental illnesses. to keep getting up and working harder. I read an Amazing post that jump started me again, here is a bit of what it said….

My body is my temple. This is the only body I have and I am going to treat it the best that I know how and hope it does the same to me. I do wish to grow old AND healthy AND strong. If my life gets busy, the other โ€œstuffโ€ still comes second to me. I come first. My health comes first. I am proud of myself every single day after I finish my workout. I am proud of myself each and every time I choose to only consume healthy choices. I am proud of myself for bypassing the sugary, fried, cheesy, processed, fastโ€ฆ anythingโ€ฆ for not even being tempted because I know that what I put into my body is its fuel and I only wish to fuel my body with premium nutrition. Now, you might be thinking that I should get off my high horse and quite tooting my own horn. But Iโ€™m not going to, because it is difficult to make these choices, to change your life, to eat differently than most people, to push yourself beyond what you think you are capable of, to have the self-discipline โ€ฆ it isnโ€™t easyโ€ฆ and I am proud of myself (& my family) every timeโ€ฆ every time.

this month I challenge you to take a stand for who you are. for who you want to be. for what you want to change. and for all the things & thoughts you want to let go of. there is a way. it can be done.

jillian michaels quote

Links to some epic help:

me๐Ÿ™‚ I’d love to share, & help. i’ve been there, i can show you a path that’s worked.

Gabby Bernsteins book ‘may cause miracles’. see her facebook page here for more info

Cheryl richardson has an amazing book called the art of extreme self care. I have in on audio, i recommend it to everyone & anyone. this is da bomb!!!!

remember there is hope. look around. we are not alone. speak up. you deserve it. we all deserve it.

accept love

Stress Part 1

Stress. Ah, that nasty S word! Do you have stress? Of course who am I kidding, we all do….. Come on now, we can talk candidly about this. When do you get Stressed? Holidays? Weather changes? Work? School? Kids? Dinner time? Lunch Time? Tax Time? Mondays? Weekends? Vacations? Paying Bills? Family Visits? When the Phone rings? When the Alarm Clock goes off? Maybe you’re always Stressed?

Hmmm, wait a minute now, do you know what it’s like to not be stressed? (*for the record Stress is the inability to cope with Pressure*)

Stress can pop up at the most un~opertune times, it can hit you like a ton of bricks & make you cry out for your mama. Stress can also build up slowly doing damage all the while, until you are completely exhausted & don’t know what’s hit you. Stress effects your body mind & soul & it embraces every aspect of our human nature. Stress is all around us, & everyone deals & responds to Stress differently. Without a little bit of Stress we won’t feel challenged, but where is the line drawn between just enough pressure & too much Stress? There are just as many ways to deal with Stress as there are symptoms of Stress. Where do you stand? Where do you start?

Let’s talk for a minute about the damage that too much Stress can do to a person. You may have heard before that Stress can cause more damage to a body then eating junk food! (While I can’t say with absolute certainty that I know this to be true, I will admit that I believe it to be). Stress is like acid, pulsing thru our bodies eating away at our bones, muscles & cells. It can even leave a nasty taste in your mouth. Adrenaline coursing through your body leaves everything in its path tired & exhausted. You need to rest, you need coffee, gosh you just need a break!

When you have chronic damaging stress your body can’t do what it’s suppose to do, mainly take care of itself! Stress can make us tense, forgetful, anxious & angry. If it gets too much we may even become fearful, have panic attacks, gain or lose weight, have indigestion & other related issues. Our Hearts may physically hurt, pounding, irregular beating, palpitations & an increase in blood pressure. We may sweat more, have headaches & other body & muscle pains. This can leave us even more tired & unable to cope. You want to sleep, you need to sleep ~ but when you go to lie down you just can’t fall asleep! Your mind races with thoughts you can’t stop.

When chronic damaging Stress gets too much for us mentally, things can quickly go down hill. It leaves us drained & without energy to finish (or even start) the day. We may feel alone, have difficulty starting or finishing a task & even making decisions. Stress can make people feel un~wanted, un~loved, ugly & like a failure. As you can imagine, these feelings can quickly turn into something even more serious. (I will talk about Depression, Anxiety & Panic Attacks at a later date.) *If this is where you are right now, please talk with your doctor*

Now you may be asking, with all these symptoms being due to Stress, what can we do? Try to think of Stress as the Symptom & Pressure as the Cause. Now remember that Stress is the inability to cope with Pressure well, so we just need to learn to cope better!

Here are some steps you need to take to over come this nasty S word ~ Stress?

First things First, we need to find the cause of the Pressure. Now is the time to go & get a pen & pad of paper. We’re about to do some serious work!

Ready? Now sit is a quiet room comfortably. Close the door & let everyone know you shouldn’t be disturbed for a while. Put your feet up & grab a mug of tea if you wish. Take a few deep breaths in thru your nose & out thru your mouth & relax…… ahhh, are you there yet?

Okay, let’s get down to work. I need you to think. When do you feel most stressed?


Is it work, your boss, or your job?

Is it Bills & or Debt?

Is it the simple fact that you don’t have time for yourself?

Is it commitments that you feel stuck in or forced into? Driving people around? Family dinners?

These are just a few examples, keep thinking until you have them all down. Take your time, this is an important step.

Ok, Time for our second list. Now let’s see what you can think of that would help. For each of your Stressors or Causes of Un~wanted Pressure you need to think of 3~5 things that you could do to release it. It doesn’t have to be sensible or do~able right this moment, but thinking of all your potential options is what we want your mind to be doing.

Can you work less? Cut down on hours? Change jobs?

Take an over~due vacation? Hit a spa or golf weekend?

Do you need professional help to sort thru your finances?

Do you need a hobby? More Friends? Time to just sit & relax? Do you need to join or leave a club?

Think of as many as you can, this could (& should) be fun!!

As wide & varied as the cause of your stress may be. Pinpointing it & clarifying it so that you can work on it is a very important first step. Your job this week is to find your top 3~5 Stressors & consciously try to find 5 simple ways to keep them at bay every day. It’s ok to take your time, in fact this make take a while to straighten out ~ but don’t give up, this is important! Every little step you take every day will gradually add up. Deep breathes. You can do it!

Look for Part 2 here

Happy Pills!

So, as many of you know I received my diplomas in Stress Management & Relaxation Therapy a while back. I love having all this knowledge that is so applicable in todays times. Being able to help so many people with such a prevalent issue in a Natural way is amazing. I still remember reading through all my assignments thinking ‘gosh how true’ or ‘don’t I know it’ & ‘I know 20 people like that’ & even ‘yup that’s me’. It was both enlightening & a handy wake up call. This was EVERYONE. I mean, come on, who knows someone who isn’t stress out, anxious, depressed, bored, uptight, behind on deadlines, grumpy, tired, overweight…. (yup they’re all related)…. People are always rushing around & stressed out to the max, & all of that rushing & stress can develop into Anxiety & Depression. I (just like the rest of you), have dealt with it for a long time, tried all the new fads, alternative treatments, & gotten even more Anxious & Depressed when something hasn’t worked the way I was hoping.

True to my saying that everyone is stressed, anxious, depressed or a bit of it all, Here is a new Chapter on my issues & how I’m dealing with them in a Natural & Safe way. This post is both a Review of a product that I’m using right now, as well as a link to a few posts I wrote about on Stress & Depression. The following posts Stress Part 1, Stress Part 2, & Stress Part 3 are where you can find some helpful info on dealing with & reducing stress. I hope you find some helpful information there.

As for the Product Review, here it is!


I found this at the store just before Christmas time. When I walked by the display, the pharmacist asked if I wanted to take some samples home to try. Um, Hello!!! After checking out the ingredients (Lemon Balm, Ashwagandha, Rhodiola, L-Theanine, Choline, 5-HTP, Black Pepper, AllSpice, Cloves & Cinnamon) I knew it couldn’t hurt! These were all well~known ingredients that could help with Anxiety & Depression.

I asked the pharmacists if he had tried it (personal recommendations go a long way). He told me he had & it worked like a charm. A charm eh? I guess I looked a little skeptical because he came right back & said that it in fact would work within 20 minutes for him…….. My brain made a little screeeeching sound. 20 minutes? That was too good to be true. But I took a handful of the little pills, put them in my pocket & went on my way.

(*as some of you may know, my family & I are in the middle of a huge life changing move (nearly 3 months now). We have to date travelled 1/2 way across Canada in search of a new home & life. While this is VERY exciting, it is also trying & down right exhausting. Our 2 boys are still not in school due to the fact that we don’t know where we want to settle, & the places we are staying in are small. Travelling all the time & all the unknowns can make any one a little short of poise, good humour & well, down right Nippy. Add to that being away from all of our family (besides the 4 of us) during the Holidays, well let’s just say I wanted to try these pills)

When I got home I decided that I needed to try them as soon as possible. It was 5pm, the box said to take one first thing in theย  morning & last thing at night. I took one anyways. I don’t know if it was 20 minutes or not, but it was pretty soon afterwards that I did feel something. I’m not going to say that a big dark cloud lifted & I could see the sun ( I wasn’t that far gone) ~ but I didn’t notice something.

The next morning was another big travel day for us, so I took a pill before I even turned my alarm off. Once on the road (an hour or two after taking the ‘happy pill’) I mentioned to my hubby that it felt like little bubbles were popping in my head. And every time one popped I felt a little clearer & calmer. I’ve never felt that before.

I’ve been taking these ‘happy pills’ since just before Christmas & I have to say that these are the one & only pills that I have found to truly work wonders! I’m only taking one a day (first thing in the morning), but I think that for my situation it’s enough. But I would recommend anyone feeling low to consider these!

If you would like more information about your options for getting through tough times, Anxiety, Depression, Nutrition or Detoxing. Please use the form below to contact me. I’d ba happy to help you!